I'll be the first one to admit that
I'm not a typical girl. But then again, I never have been. When most six-year
old girls were playing dress up or having tea parties with their Barbie dolls,
I was either playing Mario Kart with my brother or aiding him in a war between
his Power Ranger and Ninja Turtle action figures. I can honestly say that I'm
the only girl I know that not only knows what Magic cards are, but also
understands how to play the game. Blame it on my brother's need to corrupt my
girly tendencies if you must, but I think it goes further than a bunch of video
games and a brother that thought it was fun to rip the heads off of my dolls.
I've come to realize lately that I
don't really like girls. Well, at least the type of girls that idolize Jessica
Simpson and Paris Hilton, decide that their clothes should be as minimal as
possible, and start petty drama wherever they can wHiLe TyPiNg LyKe ThIs. While
I would love a prince charming to come sweep me off my feet so we can live
happily ever after, I am not going to sit around waiting for him and cry
because I don't have a boyfriend. A popular belief among teenage girls is that
they "need" a boyfriend. On the contrary, they need a boyfriend as much as I
need a brand new Mustang convertible. Would it be nice? Of course. But would my
world come to a screeching halt without it? No. Oh, and while I'm on the
subject, the perfect boyfriend does not include constant pretentious displays
of his love. Sometimes it's the simple things that matter the most, like a
random 'I love you' or a surprise visit because he just wants to be with you.
After all, I would prefer one single tiger lily to a giant bouquet of red roses
any day.
Another thing that bugs me about
girls is the "oh my gosh I'm SO fat" comment despite the fact that they weigh
about 100 pounds, and I could probably eat them if I wanted to. I'm all for
being healthy, but if an extremely skinny girl counts calories and won't eat
one Snickers bar because she thinks she'll become the size of a small elephant,
that aggravates me. Girls that do this will eventually disappear. They just
will. They'll turn to the side, and we'll all say "Wow, where did she go?" I
guess they could make a fortune if they get involved in a magic act. I can see
it now, "Harry Houdini and the Amazing Disappearing Woman Sponsored by Oxygen."
Well, Doritos or Hershey's couldn't sponsor it because then girls might
actually EAT, and we don't want them to be visible or anything. That would ruin
the whole act. After all, if it were called "Harry Houdini and the Fat Chick
who Ate Food" ticket sales would probably go down.
Before I end this thing, I have to
talk about the clothes girls wear today, or actually the lack clothes girls
wear today. Imagine something for me. Think of a world where girls are modest,
a world where clothes actually fit. It's a crazy idea, I know. I don't know
what I was thinking. I mean, why wouldn't I want a top that my boobs hang out
of or a skirt that looks like a large belt? Why would I actually want to have
self-respect? I'd much rather have guys constantly ogling me while I try to
make my skirt cover my butt. I might as well wear a sign that says, "Yep, I'm
a slut. Guys look all you want, but I must warn you that if I catch you looking
at my body for too long, I will get offended because I deserve respect despite
the fact that I can't sit down without flashing at least six people." Nah, that
wouldn't fit on a sign. Oh, and another thing, girls should wear clothes that
flatter THEIR bodies, not their friend's body or Misha Barton's body. If a girl
has curves, she should be proud of them, but not in a shirt made for a girl who
is stick thin. Too many girls dress the bodies they want, not the ones they
have. I can guarantee it's not attractive.
Okay, I'm done. To all of the girls
out there agree with me and have self-respect, thank you. Now, go read a
fashion magazine and put down the candy bar. You don't want to get fat, do you?
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